16 months

You are such a kind helper, wiping everyone’s nose, cleaning things with tissues, sharing your food and milk with the people you love. You bring me diapers and wipes and you want to put on your socks and shoes. It’s very hard though. You carry our mail. 

You can run and walk backwards. You are trying to jump. 🙂 You still love climbing on things and you are fearless. You climb onto your giraffe, stand on it and try to pull yourself unto the window sill. 

With help, you can sort shapes into your sorter. You can crumple up tissue paper and put it into cups and you can unscrew and screw tight bottle caps. You can open closed doors and give high fives, blow kisses, clap your hands. 

You point out cows and horses and whales in your books and match them with the animals in your other books. You identify giraffes and planes, cars, bees. 

You tell me “ja” when I ask if you want milk, you bring me books or balls or balloons in the right colors when I ask you. You shrug and lift your arms when you can’t find something you’re looking for. 🙂

You love stickers, drawing (with food, milk, and crayons). 

You are trying out sleeping in your bed. You’ve slept in it for a few hours here and there. You are more interested in nursing again. 

You understand a lot, and you can say a few words (Ja, yeah, yey, mama, ball). 

You are funny! You make funny sounds, poke my nose, hide under a blanket or run away to make me laugh. 

You give slobbery kisses and great hugs. 

You like baths and splashing in puddles.

You are an interested observer. 

You are the sweetest little bear and the most amazing Koa. I couldn’t ever love anyone more than I love you.

I cherish bedtime and our time in the morning where I get to read to you or play with you before we start our day. And weekends are the best. I love our long cozy naps together. ❤️


My sweet Koa,

You do this thing where you come really close, putting your face right in front /or next to my face and give kisses or nose kisses (my fave!) or just face hugs, and you climb onto my lap bringing a book you want me to read over and over again. And sometimes you walk up to me, bend over so your face looks up at me and you ask in the sweetest voice “ah?”. 

You “talk”, with intonation and inflection just not words in the German/English sense. You can and have said Mama, Koa, ja, yes, da. But mostly you just use sounds.

You loooove food! You don’t like peas (downright hate em!) bananas or puréed meat (I don’t blame you), but you love teewurst and wiener and cottage cheese and yoghurt and pears !

Britney just gave us a bunch of milk for you and I’m grateful!

I’ve started to do more self-care, reading!! Hanging out at a cafe, writing letters, I go to bed when you do!

I’m on my way to pick you up so I’ll finish up. Just know that you are loved beyond words! 


We are a family.


My sweet little bear.

I had hoped and prayed for a baby and from the moment I knew I was pregnant, you were loved and wanted and awaited with great anticipation. Every day that we get to be your parents, we learn from you. You have the sweetest, most loving personality. You have such joy, and I truly believe that you chose us as your parents.

Koa, when your papa and I fell in love we believed we could find a home in each other and stay together for the rest of our lives; we hoped that our love for each other would be enough to grow stronger together and  bridge our two cultures.

We will always have love for each other, but presently, we work better as your parents living apart.

Koa, my sweet baby, even though we are not a family that lives together, you will always be our little bear, our child, loved beyond what words can express. We carry you in us and we are with you, no matter how much you grow or how old you get or how far away you’ll travel or where and whom you will build your own family with.

We will both be there for you.

When you were just a little blueberry and we went looking for your name, we chose the name of the tree that we know has the strongest roots, the most beautiful golden grain and flexible wood. The Koa. It rests on Maui, in the islands of Hawai’i. The native islanders used it to build their canoes to go far and their houses to last. You are our little tree bear and you will always be our Koa.

You will always have a home in us. You will always be loved. ❤

Your Mama and Papa.